


As Dark Clouds Part for the Shining Sun

by hinotoriii



Series: The Lion and the Goddess [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-11 13:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20154421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinotoriii/pseuds/hinotoriii
Summary: After the battle of Grondor, Dimitri is forced to consider how his quest for revenge has come at high cost for those close to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Blue Lion route, chapter 17.
> 
> Loosely based on the events that happen, although I took some creativity out of things that happened whilst first facing this battle myself. Bad strategies lead to injured characters!
> 
> I hope you lovely readers enjoy ♥

Dimitri feels as if he’s woken from some strange fever dream.

It is not a welcoming return to sanity however, but a nightmarish one in its own right. Rodrigue gone, their forces thin and weary, and Byleth -

Dimitri loses his breath thinking about Byleth.

Shame washes over him. In his crazed mind he’d become so cruel - to everyone around him, but especially to her. At first it had been because he still believed she was yet another ghost haunting him, but after it had been to try and keep her and anyone else trying to get too close to him at arm's length.

He knows however that it is because of his actions - both his cruelty and his desire to see Edelgard’s head on a pike above anything or anyone else - that she now joins the ranks of the injured.

She had worked to create a diversion to try and pull a good portion of the Imperial forces away from him as Dimitri headed straight towards where Edelgard commanded her troops from. Little did any of them realise that Edelgard had come prepared for Byleth’s strategy to mirror that they had used during the battle of the Eagle and the Lion five years prior, and in turn had a flame trap set for the possibility she would try to take the centre point. Both Byleth and Felix quickly guided their numbers through the worst of it, although with her concentration focused between the flame and cutting down their enemies Byleth didn’t have a chance to react to Claude taking the opportunity to take a hit at her.

Thankfully, Claude had attacked without the intention to kill but to simply weaken. Unfortunately Byleth stumbled, twisting her ankle as Claude’s weapon skidded past her shoulder, cutting into her flesh.

The injuries would hinder her later, when it came to acting against Dimitri’s would be assassin.

Byleth - already exhausted and struggling from the prior battle - had rushed at Rodrigue’s command as he fell into a heap before his king. She raised her blade high above her head, intending to cut down the girl who was aiming her own weapon at Dimitri once more -  
  
\- but the girl quickly twisted towards her at the very last minute, just as they both embedded their blades into one another.

The assassin had died instantly from Byleth’s blade.

Byleth, on the other hand, had clasped her side as the blood began to pool.

Since then, Dimitri knows Mercedes has been working with the healers to help her. He hasn’t been told anything about her progress over the last few days, but then he’s been keeping to himself as the guilt over everything he’s been and that he has ignored ate away at him from the inside out.

He always knew he was a monster, but he’d never felt this dirty about it before. Never had the weight of his sins resting as heavily upon his shoulders as they do for him now, nor felt as if his hands were constantly drenched in the blood of all the lives he’s taken while on his quest for revenge. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so focused on himself Byleth - as well as the rest of his friends and allies that had either been injured or killed during the last battle - would be okay right how.

Maybe Rodrigue would still be alive, too.

Dimitri recalls some of the things he’d said to Byleth recently. He feels sick as he recalls throwing Jeralt’s death at her feet, knowing just how much losing her father had crushed her. The threats he gave her, the rude disregard for her ideas of what their next move should be, the dismissive attitude he took towards her concerns for his own wellbeing. For so long, he has responded to her kindness with ungratefulness and contempt.

Byleth has always been kind. The memory of his birthday five years ago rises to Dimitri’s thoughts, recalling how Byleth had invited him to have tea with her. She’d somehow managed to find out his favourite - camomile - and when Dimitri had questioned her about it Byleth had simply replied that she thought its calming effects might help to relax the troubled thoughts he’d been having.

They’d spent that afternoon talking, Dimitri feeling his heart soar every time he saw that small, rare smile of hers rise upon her lips. She’d surprised him afterwards, handing him a small bundle of forget-me-nots, looking at him with warmth as she wished him a happy birthday. Dimitri had kept them by his bedside for a long time afterwards, before eventually pressing the delicate petals into one his spare journals so he could keep them.

“Your Highness.”

Stirred out of memories from the past which felt so long ago now, Dimitri turns to meet Gilbert standing close beside him. A brief stretch of silence follows, the lack of verbal reply on his end inviting Gilbert to speak on.

“Sorry to disturb you. However, I thought it best to inform you that your friends are recovering well. Mercedes assures me that Annette’s burns are fading, and praise the goddess she won’t suffer from any immediate scarring.”

Dimitri thinks he can _feel_ the relief laced in Gilbert’s words as he speaks of his daughter. He’d likely been fretting over her well being without saying anything outright, knowing him. Another drop of guilt falls into the well of Dimitri’s regrets at that thought.

“Ashe has been given the all clear, and I hear he’s eager to return to service. Felix is ... well. He is keeping to himself more than usual, given the circumstances.”

Dimitri slowly nods, knowing all too well how Felix is likely feeling at the sudden loss of his father.

“And you, my friend?” He asks, recalling that Gilbert had followed Byleth’s numbers in the last battle also.

“I am fine, although I thank you for your concern. Nothing keeps an old soldier like myself down for long.”

Dimitri regards him, notices how he’s slightly favouring his right leg. Gilbert never had been one to complain, regardless of how much he was likely suffering silently.

“... And Byleth?”

Her name catches in his throat, and Dimitri feels as if he has to force the words past his lips.

If there were anyone he feels he’s failed the most, it’s her.

“She is ... better,” Gilbert says, wavering briefly over the words. “Mercedes assures us that she has no long lasting injuries, but for now she rests. The ... sword struck deep, although avoided hitting anything major. As far as I know, both Seteth and Flayn were currently with her.”

Dimitri’s eye clenches shut tightly, understanding the truth underlying Gilbert’s words.

It could have been worse.

But then, it could have also been avoided.

“She was ... asking after you, your Highness.”

“Me?”

Dimitri’s eye widens, looking towards Gilbert with something akin to disbelief. Gilbert nods.

“Yes. She wanted to know how you were, and if you had been injured during the attack. She has been assured that aside from a few wounds that weren’t anything serious, you otherwise came out of things unscathed. But, I believe seeing you in person would relieve many of her fears.”

His first reaction is to deny the request. He doesn’t deserve to see her, not after everything. He doesn’t _want_ to see her - to see disappointment written clearly across her face, or hatred. Or worse - _sympathy_.

But ... if it is what she asks. Surely, the least he can do is this, regardless of his own shame and fear. After all, it is because of him she is even hurt right now.

“I will not force you to make a decision,” Gilbert continues, obviously sensing Dimitri’s growing inner turmoil. “Just know it is a suggestion. Once she is well, we will begin considering our next steps. For now, I shall see to it that our men are taken care of with this small reprieve we have been given.”

Gilbert bows, before turning and leaving Dimitri alone with his tormented thoughts.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“Oh. Your Highness.”

Dimitri looks up at the sound of Seteth’s voice, his footsteps slowing to a stop. Flayn quietly pulls Byleth’s door closed behind them both, turning after and giving Dimitri a warm smile.

“You’re here to see Byleth, I presume,” Seteth continues. “She is currently sleeping, although I doubt she would mind if you visited her.”

Dimitri nods. Truthfully, he’s not really sure how it is he has come to find himself outside Byleth’s room. It was as if he had gravitated towards her without thought, although he’s still unsure if seeing Byleth right now for himself is wise.

“We shall leave you alone. Come along, Flayn.”

As Seteth begins walking away Flayn briefly hangs back, regarding Dimitri with what he thinks is curiosity. She looks as if she’s about to say something, but then seems to change her mind, instead rushing off after her brother.

Without either of them there, Dimitri finds himself alone.

A few moments pass while he debates whether or not to walk away. But he fights against his growing unease, instead taking in a deep breath before carefully opening the door.

Byleth’s room hasn’t changed much from the way Dimitri remembered it being five years ago. It’s a little bit more messy - her desk is littered with battle maps now instead of notes on what her students were training in and examination papers - and there are a few cracks in one of the walls: likely from the battle from five years ago. Otherwise it’s still small, and besides the small collection of teas and flowers she has gathered in one corner of the room, Dimitri sees little in the way of personal items.

His attention gravitates to her bed last, quickly recognising Byleth's green hair poking out from beneath the sheet. Hesitantly, Dimitri steps closer towards her sleeping form. Once he's by the side of her bed and can see her face clearly Dimitri notes how Byleth is frowning in her sleep, leaving him to wonder if she's still in some kind of pain from her injuries. His heart sinks at the thought, guilt once again rising up like a tempest within the depths of his chest.

Even while she were resting, she couldn't find comfort.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Dimitri sighs, shoulders falling as an invisible weight seems to press down upon them. His last remaining good eye darts its gaze around the room again, his body tense with awkwardness and an ever growing sense that he should simply just leave. 

He’s about to turn away and do just that, when he suddenly feels something soft brush lightly against one of his hands. He glances down towards, finding that the touch is due to Byleth’s hand bridging the small space between them as she reaches out for him.

“Dimitri?”

The sound of his name leaving her lips shocks him, causing Dimitri to look back up towards her face. Her brow is still deeply furrowed, and although her eyes begin to slowly open Dimitri soon realises that there's a glaze about them.

She's not really awake. But for whatever reason, the person she's seeing in her dreams is ... well. Him.

Dimitri fails to find his voice - whether out of fear that sound would break whatever spell was on the moment, that it would prompt her to wake up and face the reality of who he has become ... he isn't exactly sure. Her fingers continue to move against his, and Dimitri soundlessly allows Byleth to thread them through his own. The calluses from welding her sword brush almost tenderly against his own scarred, broken skin, and as his heart beats thunderously against his ribcage Dimitri wishes he hadn't forgone his gloves before deciding to see her.

“... miss you, Dimitri. Not sure ... how I can best help you ... anymore …”

His body freezes.

_Help him?_

What good has helping him done her? She’s _hurt_ right now because of him. Him, and his own selfishness.

“... everything … will be alright. I promise. Just … wish I could … make you see that …”

Dimitri quickly pulls his hand away from hers as if he’s been burned.

_Nothing_ is okay.

He doesn’t even know how things_ can_ ever be okay again.

Unable to face it anymore, he quickly makes his way across the room, leaving Byleth to her slumber.

He carefully shuts the door behind him so as not to wake her, resting the back his head against the wooden panelling. For a long stretch of time Dimitri lingers outside her room, both his head and his heart thumping rapidly. A multitude of thoughts swim within his mind. He feels as if he were lost in the depths of the sea, drowning underneath the weight of everything around him.

There is so much he has to think about. So many things he needs to work out, to face. 

The problem is, Dimitri hasn't any idea of where to begin with them.


	2. Chapter 2

Byleth holds Dimitri as he cries into her shoulder. 

She wraps one arm around him, mindless of the rain falling around them as she holds him close. He clings tightly onto the hand she had offered him, gripping it as if it were his only anchor. 

There’s a relief in seeing this side of Dimitri, even if it causes something within Byleth to shatter. For so long he’s been unreachable, not only to her but to anyone, and although she could understand why it never made it any easier. Five years is a long time to suffer alone and in silence, and Byleth still hates that she hadn’t been there to help him sooner.

She moves the arm she has wrapped around him slightly so she can stroke his hair - hair which is so much longer now than it had been when they’d first met - calmly speaking to him.

“Everything will be alright.”

“You’re not alone. Not anymore.”

Dimitri breathes in a deep inhale, body shuddering beneath Byleth’s fingers. 

“How?” She hears him croak, words so quiet and fragile Byleth barely ears him speak from where his head is pressed against her. “How do I go on living for what I believe in when I’ve done so many terrible things? How do I act as if none of that matters?” 

“You don’t,” Byleth answers. “But it doesn’t mean you have to continue believing that those things are what define you. Take each day as it comes, live the Dimitri you  _ want  _ to be. Do the best you can with what has been handed to you. That’s all anyone can ask of you.”

She knows he can do it. That he can be something more than the shell of himself he’s been for so very long now. Maybe he’ll never return to being the Dimitri she remembers teaching, but then again how much of the pain he carries within himself was he hiding back even then? How long had he been ready and waiting to ignite when the truth of the Duscur’s tragedy came to light?

It didn’t matter. Not now. 

What  _ does _ matter is that Dimitri knows he will never be alone again. That there are many surrounding him, supporting him, wanting the best for him. And there are many back at Faerghus, simply waiting for him to return to them one day. 

Byleth shivers, the coldness of the rain beginning to prompt goosebumps to rise upon her skin. She slowly moves out of Dimitri’s hold yet keeps her hand intertwined with his, knowing he’s not quite ready to let go of the support it provides him with. 

“Come,” she says, snuffling. Whether because of the cold or at the lost look she sees on Dimitri’s face, Byleth doesn’t know for sure. Despite finding it difficult she tries to give him a small smile, remembering how much it used to cheer him up to see in the past. “Let’s find somewhere dry out of the rain, shall we?”

He doesn’t nod, but as Byleth lightly guides him into movement by tugging on his hand, Dimitri follows. 

And for that alone, she is glad.    
  
  


* * *

  
  
She leads him to her quarters in the end. 

It worked out best; both because it was nearby, and because Byleth thinks Dimitri still isn’t quite ready to confront the others yet. His quarters were another option but she dismissed the idea as soon as it had come to her mind, unsure for multiple reasons on if taking him there would be a good idea.

He sits perched at the edge of her bed. Byleth had managed to convince him to remove the damp, heavy cloak he wore, yet he still doesn’t seem comfortable. His eye remains focused downwards, staring at where his shivering hands are clasped in front of him. He only starts to come back to life as Byleth gently offers a warm, steaming cup of tea towards him.

As he takes the cup from her Byleth watches him, making a mental note of things she hadn’t been able to notice about him from the distance he’s kept between them lately. The way his hands tremble even beneath his gloves, how he appears thinner in frame. How messy his hair actually is, parts of it sticking out at different angles like a birds nest. The mania she had seen reflected in his good eye has gone now, but still exhaustion pulls heavily in the bags stretching below. Byleth wonders when the last time he even tried to get an ounce of sleep was. 

Although she knew it before, it is clearer to her Dimitri has not been looking after himself at all. 

Her chair creaks as she sits down upon it, the wood as old and tired as the monastery itself. She cradles her own cup of tea in her hands, tilting her head to one side as she continues to notice more concerns she has about Dimitri’s current state. 

“Five years ago -” she begins to say, breaking the long silence which had filled the room “- after my father died. You were the first to check on me. To see how I was.” 

Byleth pauses, watching Dimitri stir slightly as he recalls the memory. 

“Do you remember what you said to me then?”

Dimitri looks away. Byleth waits, before speaking on. 

“You gave me time. Time to make my peace after what had happened. But … the thing you said which stuck most with me came after.” 

She sets her cup onto where her desk sits beside her, leaning forward in her chair once her attention returns to Dimitri. 

“You told me that you’d all be waiting for me whenever I was ready to return. At the time, that helped pull me through a lot. The other professors and Rhea - they were understanding, offering to stand in on my tutoring sessions, giving me the space I needed - but … there was always an underlying expectation. A hope I guess, that I wouldn’t be out of the routine for too long. I was thankful knowing that there were people who cared enough to realise how sometimes … wounds that deep take a lot longer to heal than what they may appear like on the surface.”

Her students had been her greatest support during those horrid days. Through them Byleth learned that even if she _had_ just lost her father, her only relative and the one constant who had been there by her side her entire life, she still had a sort of _ family _ which remained. And perhaps it had been odd to consider her students as such a thing, but it was what she needed. 

Despite how often she would argue with Sothis suggesting that the students saw her as more than a professor - more than just a favourite teacher they had, but as a true friend - Byleth knew that she saw each of them as such herself. And even today, she could honestly say that ending up at the monastery and being able to teach them had proven to be the greatest joy of her life.

“I knew.”

Byleth’s attention snaps to Dimitri, listening as he hesitantly continues. 

“There had been no sense in rushing you back into normalcy. Grief … it’s different for everyone. You needed your time to process what had happened, and to work out how it would change you.”

Dimitri gives a small shake of his head, and Byleth watches how his gaze tentatively focuses on her.

“It was strange. Back then, a part of me still saw you as someone who couldn’t be phased. I’d seen you smile, albeit rarely, but I’d never seen you share much more emotion. But … then you lost your father, and you were as devastated as anyone who loved a parent as deeply as you did would be.”

Byleth nods. She didn’t consider it a secret how difficult she found it to show emotion. It had always been something which had worried her father, especially as it would often spur her into reckless behaviour on the battlefield when she had been younger, likely causing him no end of stress in relation to her safety. She feels as if she’s gotten better, that her time spent around her old students had taught her more about herself as well as learning how to express certain feelings.

“I didn’t know I could cry until the day he died,” she confesses. Dimitri’s eye widens, obviously surprised by the revelation. Her own brow furrows, thoughts deep with how she wants to word what she has to say next. “I never knew that … someone could ever feel pain that violently. It was like something had been ripped from my chest, and I knew nothing would ever be able to fill or replace the hole which it left. I thought nothing would pull me through, that I’d be lost in my rage and grief, forever drowning in it. But then … I had you. You who stood so firmly with me through it all, who gave me all the support I didn’t even know I was desperately needing.”

Byleth remembers Dimitri’s vow, that her enemies were his enemies. She remembers how he stood by her, ready to help her when she went out for her own revenge on her father's killer, how he had reigned her back before she could rush headlong in a battle she wouldn’t have won without the support of him and the other Blue Lions.

The truth of it all is clear, and something Byleth has known for a long while. 

When it comes to avenging the ones they love, her and Dimitri are cut from the same cloth. If she hadn’t had the support she had back then, if she had been alone just like Dimitri has been, how soon would it have been until she too became a feral hunter fuelled on only revenge?

“I’m sorry Dimitri,” she says, the words falling heavy with the regret she’s been carrying ever since she had found him again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. That you’ve been surviving by yourself for the past five years.”

Dimitri recoils, drawing into himself.

“It’s not your fault. You were … gone.”

“Still,” Byleth pushes, realising Dimitri’s struggle to say she had been sleeping. Or dead.

She rises to her feet, stepping across the room to sit beside him on her bed. He’s tense, and because she’s sitting on his blindside Dimitri has to turn his head to regard her, eye wide with timid confusion. Byleth’s hand hovers over his shoulder, briefly wondering if touching him were a sensible thing to do despite the way he’d clung to her so desperately outside. After a moment she gently rests it on his shoulder lightly, allowing him to move out of the touch if it proved too much.

“I  _ am _ here now, and I’m not going anywhere. None of us are. We’re here to help you, to support you, and our goals at the end of the day are all the same. So please Dimitri, don’t shut us out anymore. We are more than just pieces on a battlemap to be replaced when we fall, we are the people who love and care about you.”

Dimitri shakes his head. Yet he frees one hand from around the cup of tea he holds, reaches for where hers sits upon his shoulder and grasping tightly onto it.

“How are you still so accepting of me when I’ve caused you nothing but trouble?” 

“Because that’s what people do when they care,” Byleth says, as if it were the simplest fact in the world. “And I know you’d do the same for any one of us. We’re a team, Dimitri. You and me. All the Blue Lions too. We fight together,  _ stand _ together. And if we fall? If for whatever reason we lose our fight against the Empire? Then we’ll do that together too.”

Byleth shifts, trying to turn towards Dimitri better so he can see for himself that she means. She moves a little too quickly though, prompting a sudden sharp spark of pain to flare up at her side. Byleth lets out a hiss, pressing her free hand against the still healing wound whilst pulling her other free from Dimitri’s grasp. 

“Byleth?”

She holds up her hand, waving away the concern she can already hear creeping their way clearly into Dimitri’s words. 

“I’m fine. I just moved too quickly, that’s all.”

She already knows Dimitri blames himself for what happened at Grondor - both her injury and the death of Rodrigue - the last thing Byleth wants is for him to continue carrying that guilt. The past is something that couldn’t be changed, and as far as she is concerned they were, after all, at war. War came with casualties.

Once the pain subsides back to a dull ache Byleth finally faces Dimitri again, seeing him watch her with a conflict of emotions flickering across his face. 

He doesn’t believe her, that she can tell.

“I’m truly alright Dimitri,” she assures. 

“You’ve been resting these past few days after taking a sword to your side. Forgive me for feeling wary.”

He turns to take a sip of his tea, a petulant look falling upon him. Byleth can’t help but to smile to herself as she sees it though. For although slight it remains a reflection of the Dimitri she used to know. The Dimitri that seems to be slowly returning to them.

A moment of quiet passes between them, which Byleth oddly finds comfort in. It’s felt like so long since they’ve last been like this, simply calm in one anothers presence. When she truly thinks on it it has been, the last time likely being before Rhea had led them down to the holy tomb. 

That visit alone felt like an age ago now. 

“I … intend to speak with the others tomorrow.”

Dimitri’s words pull her out of her memories. Byleth listens, although surprised by the decision he’s made. She remains silent, inviting him to continue. 

“They deserve a proper apology after everything I’ve put them through. I know I haven’t made things any easier as of late. And I intend to change that. Which is why I’d like to move forward with a meeting for our next course of action. As soon as you are feeling well enough to do so, of course.”

“I’m well enough. We can discuss those things when you feel ready yourself, and I’m sure the others would agree.” Byleth pauses, contemplating for a second on if she should ask her next question. “Do you have ideas on what we should do next, then?”

“I … well. Yes.”

Dimitri sets the cup aside, not quite meeting Byleth’s expression at first. 

“Actually ... I intend to take back my Kingdom.”

Byleth’s eyes widen. Dimitri finally looks at her again, meeting her gaze. 

“I should have listened to your guidance before. You’re right, after all. We would greatly benefit from freeing the people currently trapped beneath the tyranny held over them. I wasn’t seeing the larger scale of this war before, but now that I am I can understand why so many of you pressed to act sooner. I just …”

“Just what?” Byleth asks. 

Dimitri breathes out a heavy sigh. 

“I just don’t know what to expect when we get there. I had meant to be executed after all, and I fled from that fate. After all this time, what must my people think of me? I’ve hardly been a King to them, let alone any kind they rightly deserve.” 

“The fact that you are even thinking of returning to free them says enough that you  _ are _ the King they deserve,” Byleth presses, hoping to make Dimitri see her point of view. “Don’t dwell on the years it’s taken to do so, the important thing is that you’re wanting to go back for them  _ now _ . You’re currently concerned about their well being, which is more than what can be said for those currently holding the Kingdom in their iron fists. You _care _about them, Dimitri. Beneath the other feelings which had consumed you for so long, you always have cared about them. It's who you are. And that is a truth your people we remember the moment they see you return to them.

”However ..." Byleth says, carefully preparing to move whilst being mindful of her injuries "that is a discussion we can go into further depth with when it comes to planning with the others. For now though, focus on yourself. I know there's likely still have a lot you'd like to think on. Don't take on too much too soon, especially when the weight of it is something which can be shared amongst us all.”

Byleth rises to her feet, going to drink her own - now lukewarm - tea. After a few beats, Dimitri speaks again, quietly, yet ... with something Byleth couldn't quite place.

“I honestly don’t know what I’ve done to deserve someone like you in my life. Nor do I know where’d I be right now if you hadn’t found me.”

His words are a thought Byleth doesn’t like to entertain. There are many thoughts of where he’d be if no one had found him soon enough, and none of the ones in her thoughts ever end well. Instead of entertaining them she breathes out a relieved sigh, thankful that he _had_ been found in the end, and that they have since been able to crack the shell he’d built up around himself all these years. 

Glancing at him over her shoulder, Byleth’s expression turns soft to see him sitting there. Alive, and - for the most part - well. 

Yes. 

She’s very thankful she had found him. 

“It’s not about deserving, Dimitri. I’m proud to be a part of your life.”


End file.
